Vanity - Kim Kardashian, King Canute & ME!

Released On 7th Jan 2017

“Vanity” is not always what it seems and I was reminded of that this week.

It was the 1000th anniversary of King Cnut or Canute – however you want to spell it. – I have always loved him – by gum Canute had a great marketing team behind him. 

Yesterday , 1000 years ago, January 6th 1017 King Cnut was crowned King of England, and two years later King of his home land – Denmark.

As a young child, Canute was one of the only characters from history lessons that stuck with me. I was delighted by the story of the “silly King” sat on his throne hands outreached trying to stop the tide from rolling up the beach –like most, I had mistakenly jumped to the conclusion that he was vain enough to think he was so important that he had control over the elements – and ended up sat in the Wash with salt water splashing around his robes and sandy mud on his face. 

As an adult, I now understand his true reasons and that it wasn’t vanity at all. In fact, Cnut was a true and wise king, that he was trying to instil into his followers, (who worshipped him devotedly) that he was, in fact, just mortal like the rest of us and didn’t have any such supernatural powers.

Why would his followers think he could control the waves?  – well, many historians feel Cnut was the most successful Anglo Saxon king in our history -  That, I cannot concur with, as we all know Alfred the Great was head and shoulders above him, but we will wait for Somerset Day (May 11th) to argue that fact.

As the successor to Alfred’s dynasty, many of Cnut’s original battles were fought over the conquest of Wessex - he sailed up the River Frome with a Norse fleet to eventually sack Dorset, Wiltshire and Somerset, before heading to London.

I digress - Vanity – back to my topic. 

Vanity is something that we very rarely aware of.  For example; last week someone criticised my blog saying it was too negative, self-opinionated and not appropriate for the time of year.

WHAT??  – Emma and I looked at one another and wanted to come out of the blocks fighting. How could anyone not understand it’s written by a fat old bird, looking for an excuse not to diet? How could they not see the wit and sarcasm, but also the kindness that was meant, when I said, ignore the bullies, forget diets and worrying what you look like – be beautiful within, that’s all that matters.

And here’s the irony, of course, I was being vain in thinking my opinion was better than the next person, apologies, yes of course you must listen to encouragement and advice on how to improve yourself, and strive towards those goals, ultimately the achievement will make you happier, of course it will.

But I guess what I was trying to do was give you a get out jail card, if you don’t lose the weight, or have to grab a quick snifter on January 15th, don’t beat yourself up – understand that we can’t all have supernatural powers we can only do our best.

And if your best is sitting on the beach with wet toes and sandy fat bum – laugh about it, all you need is a good PR team – look at Kim Kardashian, how could that arse become so popular?

I know, I’m getting into hot water again – I’ll shut up, have a great week.